


The quiet ones

by almost_certain



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hint of touken, I'm Bad At Tagging, Just read it if you like, Not Beta Read, Ooc Hinami fo sho, Possibly ooc ayato, Sharing a Bed, Sleepiness, Teenage Dorks, i should have been sleeping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-11 15:55:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almost_certain/pseuds/almost_certain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ayato was cold. Hinami was tired of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't often he felt the chill. His charge had been dosing soundly for a while, her body curled in to itself on the dirty mattress of an 11th ward safe house. She was completely indifferent to the draught, but his skin was peppered with goose pimples. His teeth were chattering no matter how he tensed his jaw.

In her sleep, Hinami sighed in to the rough baby blue blanket he had dug out of the cupboard before arranging any others in a pile on the floor for himself. She'd been too tired to even fein protest as he had nodded to the bed and taken his place for the night. 

One of those bastards had ripped out an earring. The lobe had stitched itself back together and left nothing compared to his other reminders of the evening's encounter with the doves, but the simple act had shaken him. The man's wallet had fallen from the sliced pocket of his jacket, and pictures of children and a wife with a smile like starlight had spilled forth. Ayato had paused, met the dying man's gaze as he made one last desperate grasp at life and yanked the cold metal through his skin. If he had only...

At his own trail of thought he rolled on to his side, facing shadows that the orange hue of the city night couldn't chase away. A shiver ran down his spine as his whole body trembled. 

'I can hear you, you know.' 

Her voice was clear, soft but crisp over the sound of his rasping breaths. 

'Get some sleep, Hinami.' He grunted, scrunching his eyes shut.

The springs beneath her popped and sprung as she shifted, sitting up against the window, a silhouette of bed hair and curves He imagined. 

She stood, feet gingerly meeting the cold wood floor. 'All I can hear is you, shivering!' She put her hands to her hips, leaning over him until he yielded and fell on to his back. 'You're no good to me dead, Ayato.'

'I'm no good to you...' He frowned at her outline, her face somehow severe in the dark. 'At all.'

She stiffened, straightening her spine and turning towards the window. The light caught her honey coloured eyes, still far away with sleep. 'I'd rather you were here than not.' She smiled sadly. 'No matter how much you want me to hate you...'

He laughed, sitting up with a grimace. 'Why would I want you to hate me?' 

She shrugged, turning away and padding back to the bed. 

He could almost feel the warmth already, as he fought shakily to his feet and followed with uncharacteristically clumsy steps. She had thrown back the blanket and pushed herself against the wall, facing it. With what little grace he could muster he dropped the blanket he had been sleeping on over hers, then sank down beside her, lying on his back And pulling both sheets up to his neck. They were careful not to touch.

Hadn't he been colder once? Stuck under cardboard and newspaper constructions in alleyways while his stupid aneki shivered in her skin and torn jacket. He should have held it together and stayed on the floor. Who cared if she hated him?

The biting cold began to fade, though he could still feel it in his feet and at the base of his neck. Relaxing in to the bed, his mind began to wander. 

Hinami had spoken about her Touka, but she had never tried to share his. She made coffee and swept hair behind her ears, but she didn't fight tooth and nail, or make self righteous demands. Similarly, the eyepatched half breed who had broken half of his bones only ever made an appearance in her stories as a wide eyed teacher, a sweet counterbalance to Touka's cool and slightly distant style of caring. 

He might have made her that way, pulling so hard against his father's influence. No, humans were to blame. Humans and Arata's poor judgement. Did he think they'd have pity on them for being children? Did he believe as the final blow came rushing down that blending in was the right choice? Had Hinami's mother had similar faith, a woman no more violent than his father had been. Was there a single ghoul out there who had managed to hide like that and live?

'When did you last eat?' She murmured, her back pressing cautiously against his arm.

He turned his head to look at the back of hers. The light from the curtainless window made her bare shoulder glow, but the dark blue night shirt kept the rest of her hidden as she tried to pull the blankets around her front. 

'It doesn't concern you.'

She chuckled softly, turning to face him with a devious smile on her soft features. 'Tch. Watching your weight?'

'Mind your own business.' His voice was low, threatening. 'This isn't some happy family. We don't all share our feelings. I don't have to care for you.'

She sighed, looking down at her exposed right leg, wiggling her toes in the murky darkness. 'But this felt so much like a family didn't it? With all the danger and the hiding... It's just how I remember it.'

The lightness in her voice catches him off guard. He sighs in agreement and stretches, his fingertips grazing the back go her shirt. He frowns at his own hand, and doesn't miss the way she looks over her shoulder at him with pity, or something like it. The silence settles like dust.

'You saved my life today.' It's barely a whisper as she scratches her fingers along the mattress, looking down at her hand as it narrowly avoids his own. 'But am I awful for wishing that man dead?'

Ayato's heart clenched. If he, with his self forged heart of cold steel had felt regret as the wallet, the pictures and then the father had fallen, what had she felt? She who had lost her parents only to be cushioned by the soft coffee shop, the devotion of the staff and his sister. Kaneki's death has pushed over the edge, sent her crying to Eto because leaving was easier than losing but still she retained that undeniable softness, a waver in her voice when she spoke to him after a kill, or the glimmer in her eyes when she spoke of her time with Kirishima Touka and Keneki Ken, a short lived and dysfunctional family that had no idea what it was. 

'I left her so it wouldn't happen to me.' He swallowed, hand hovering over hers as he considered... Only for a moment. 'Family connections, love. It hurts people because it can't last. So wish him dead or don't, doesn't matter.' His hand fell back down beside hers. 'That family's loss is no greater than any others.' Ours, he wants to say. 

She sunk back down to lie, facing the ceiling, her hands folded in her chest. 'He was fighting for something. What are we fighting for?'

'Survival.' He scoffed, eyeing her profile without turning his head. 'if we stop fighting we're dead.'

She closed her eyes, 'If it's  _all_  we do we might as well be.' The boldness didn't suit her, or maybe it did. He couldn't decide. The way she looked at him then though, with her eyes fierce in the dim light of the street and her lips drawn in to a pert straight line was definitely bold, perhaps not unwelcome.

He wanted to kiss her sometimes. 

'Can...' She hesitated, lips shaking. 'I fight for... Something...'

He turned completely to face her, letting the blanket slide down over his now heated shoulders. 'It can't last.' He croaked as her fingers, small and shaking, ghosted over his own.

The cold air taunted him, a reminder that she was scorching, that the warmth of her skin was right there for him if he would just reach out.

'Why me?' 

'Does it matter?' She echoed.

He felt her feet against his and sighed. There was so much comfort in the small touch... he wanted to throw her across the room. 

'It does if you're asking me to lose somebody again, Hinami.' His voice was bitter, but all the same he grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her closer and leaning in. 'I won't be a romantic...'

She nodded. 'I won't hold my breath, but the next time we're alone together... If we are, you won't sleep on the floor, alright?' Her voice had wavered at the last word. 'We should at least have something...'

Ayato almost whined as she turned, breaking all contact and facing away. As much as his mind had been in turmoil, his body had enjoyed her presence. He lay there, his own breathing loud in his ears, until the female ghoul had raised her head to look over her shoulder, eyes catching the light again.

He pulled her roughly by the hip until she settled against him, her shirt clad back pressed against his bare stomach and chest. His hand skimmed the bare skin of her stomach, curling around her in a vice. 

He fell asleep not long after her, and even if their arrangement was foolish, he drifted off feeling warm and safe... hopeful for the first time in years.


	2. Sighs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss fluff really.

It wasn't every night, but it was every night they could spare. He had stopped the forced chill, the silent resignation to the floor and duty, and she had stopped letting her neckline slip down, hinting that her feet was cold and pretending she couldn't hear his teeth chattering or his mind wandering because now there was no shame left when they slid in next to each other beneath a single blanket. There was only a little left when they woke, disentangled their limbs and avoided all talk of it. 

That night was the first time he'd been waiting for her though, as she dithered and chewed her nails at the window, flicking the curtains to see outside. 

He sat up, rubbing the heel of his palm against his heavy eyes as he spoke. 'No one followed us. We're safe. Come to bed.'

It felt a bit strange said like that, as if he was confirming that their bed was a thing, that there was something... He should have said it differently. 'Go to sleep?' Yeah, that wouldn't imply any affection. That wouldn't imply any need for her closeness or warmth, that wouldn't imply he felt something for her beyond 'Don't die, our cause needs you'.

Before he could overthink things any further her weight settled beside him, and she dropped her head on the pillow with a gentle sigh. His skin was hot where his arms pressed against her stomach under the fabric of her T-shirt, and he hissed when her cold feet stole the warmth from his. For someone who slept shirtless, he was a furnace, she thought, and she moulded to his shape easily. 

Her toes wriggled against his and for a wonder he laughed, a low huff of breath against the back of her neck. 

When had his lips moved so close to her? The knowledge of their placement had her numb, a curious tingle running beneath the skin from her ear down to her shoulder. His every breath was tickling her nape, was making it increasingly hard to stay still in his arms, to actually sleep. 

His thumb stroked the soft skin of her belly and she almost bucked him out of the bed. To her ~~dismay~~ relief he rolled in to his back, eyes closed and small murmur telling her he was already asleep, or at least too tired to take notice. After taking a moment to psych herself up, Hinami rolled on to her back, eyeing his profile. His hair had fallen down over his eyes, so even in the darkness his nose and jaw only served to direct her attention to his lips. They looked soft, somehow bigger as they parted slightly with every exhale, exaggerated with the shadows the filtered city lights were casting. 

He blinked at her, but she didn't seem to notice, her attention fixed on the lower part of his face. He fought the urge to smile. Her fingers, small cold and shaking, grasped his arm as she edged closer, her breath warm against his cheek. Keeping himself still was harder and if she'd been her usual attentive self she'd have picked up on the rise in his pulse, the way his breath seemed to catch at the back of his throat, but she was distracted. Still he didn't want to encourage her... Or put her off... Doing nothing would have to do. 

She sighed again, one that sounded like an affirmation, a 'let's do this'. He waited.

Kissing him in his sleep, what sort of weirdo was she? What if he had woken up. She was more than painfully aware that she'd been the one to get him to sleep next to her and if it were up to him he'd stay on the cold hard floor. Still, he was there wasn't he? Her love couldn't be unrequited if he was this responsive could it? Though he'd also let her pull away with little to no protest, and was sleeping more soundly alone on his back than he had been wrapped around her. She pulled away and buried her head in her hands, letting out a sigh against her palms that sounded a lot like 'you idiot.'

Ayato sat up with a sigh of his own, and before she could turn around or explain he had taken her hands in his own, thumb rough against her smooth knuckles. Her eyes were shining, lips twisting in to a nervous smile. He took her chin between his thumb and finger and tilted her head up, licking his chapped lips and edging forward with a hesitance she hadnt thought he'd ever posses. Her hands bundled in to fists in the sheets beside her thighs as he pressed his warm lips against her's. 

Theyd both kept their eyes open, and they'd held their breaths and it was hilarious. He wanted to laugh. Except then she'd closed her eyes and he'd parted his lips - not too much, at first - and they'd sat there adjusting to each other in the near darkness surrounded by the sounds of muffled breaths and little brushes of skin on cloth and somewhere in the awkwardness the whole thing was perfect. 

It was the first night they had fallen asleep facing each other, lips swollen and sore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make him less of an a hole. 
> 
> I just want some fluffy goofy first kisses, alright, I just want that back! Now my life is all serious and everyones okay at it but no ones great and all the fun goes out of kissing I swear. Enjoy it while you can you crazy kids (I'm not actually that old...)  
> I'll just be in this corner, weeping about my lost youth and how these two would be adorable...


	3. Cold Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't keep anything pg-13

She knew where he'd been the moment he crawled in to bed behind her, pulling her to him without saying a word. He smelt like the air in that part of Tokyo, a little bit cleaner, like freshly cut grass, and coffee. She waited patiently. 

'It's on the kitchen table.' He smiled and said after he'd felt she'd waited long enough. 'But it might be cold.'

She shifted to kiss the damp hair at his crown. 'Is it raining, Ayato-kun?' 

'No. I splashed myself to trick you.' 

'Oh just go to sleep then.' She huffed playfully, and he cracked an eye open but didn't seem any more awake. Slowly she turned to stand, stretching with an exaggerated yawn. She felt the nightgown rise up on the back of her legs, and for a moment a heat sprang to life in her cheeks and stomach, but previous attempts to invite him to touch her more intimately had been more embarrassing and obvious, so she shrugged and sauntered out to the kitchen. Besides, he was probably asleep already anyway, he'd left their current abode just before dawn, and the sun had been down for hours. 

The coffee cup was on the table, still steaming and spreading its aroma throughout the kitchen. And this house had a lovely kitchen, she couldn't help but think as she picked it up and removed the lid. She imagined the previous owners, young professionals perhaps awaiting their first child, then deciding at the second that they'd need somewhere bigger. Maybe with a garden so they could get a dog, or some rabbits. She ran a hand over the dusty stove top and imagined someone cooking for guests. Perhaps they met through in his couple, and they were fussing over a baby bump or laughing at old pictures. 

She looked down at the coffee cup and sighed. He had a habit, and it was one they never spoke about, of making his way home via his sisters establishment. A month or so ago she'd picked up on a dove investigation near the area, and it hadn't taken a great deal to work out what he was doing in his extra hours away every night. They were supposed to be keeping watch on the ghoul and human couple across the road, since he'd been overly active with his hunting lately and rumours of an escapee fleeing to the ward with whom he'd had a history. She would be the first to admit they weren't really doing a great deal of serveillance. 

The couple were boring. He barely left the house, a sculptor who spend most of his day in the garage and the rest listening to his wife complain about her day. One thing she did note was that the wife was either indifferent, or completely in the dark as to her husbands nocturnal hunts for human flesh. oh, and they seemed to do it all the time. In the afternoon, in the evening, in the morning and any other moment they had to spare. It was making full time servaillance incredibly difficult. 

She he sipped the bitter coffee and let out a contented hum. Touka must not have been working. He wouldn't dream of going in if she was, and the smell on the cup was distinctively male, but the coffee was good, almost as good as she remembered. He had started bringing coffee back when she'd said, stupidly, in to his shoulder one night 'you smell like Antieku' and purred her approval. She'd thought he'd stiffened and pulled away and regretted the comment as soon as she'd said it, but two days later there was a take-out cup from Re: sitting there waiting for her. 

She wasn't often caught off guard these days, but his voice in the doorway made her jump. 

'Have you been shortening your dresses?' He asked through an amused smirk. 

She fought a blush. 'Of course not.' Her voice stammered slightly as she spoke. 

'Hm. What was with that little display?' 

'What display?' 

His smile faded, and the shadows under his eyes seemed to deepen. Affection wasn't easy with Ayato, and it came in waves, usually masked by a smirk or just plain silence. 'You just look... Tonight you look...'

She pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. Her legs were suddenly cold, and too pale as she looked down under the harsh kitchen light, so she pushed them together. 

'You look good.' _Smooth_. 

'I... Do?' She frowned. His words sunk in and she took a small sip of coffee. The heat flowing down to her stomach made her feel invincible. 

_Play it cool Fueguchi. Play it cool._

'Don't play dumb.' He growled.

She blinked. He'd had that look before, a strange mixture of irritation and fondness that he wore as tension in his jaw. Drunk on it all, she put down the coffee cup and crossed the space, holding his gaze defiantly. 'T... Tell me again.'

'Don't play dumb.' When she was close enough he sprang, holding her firmly by the shoulders and planting a rough kiss on her all too eager lips. 

She moaned as as his hands moved down, tracing her ribs and coming to rest on the small of her back as she pushed up aganst him, her own pulling at the hair on the back of his head. Her back his the table and he took a hold of her hips, hoisting her up until he was resting between her legs. His tongue danced against hers, washing away any sense of control she had felt, and when he pulled back to pull the straps of her dress down her arms she yelped. His thighs nudged her's further apart, and the cotton was riding up and up until he reached down to gather it and bunch it around her hips. 

He pulled away quite suddenly, lips pursed and eyes an unearthly dark shade. 'I should go...'

He made to leave and her hand wrapped around his wrist, not quite tightly but not soft either. 'Wait!' She hopped off the table, and the coffee wobbled precariously at the other end but didn't fall. Every book she had ever read with a girl and a boy and a bed swam around her mind, along with his words from the first night. 'I won't be romantic.'

Sighing she looked him in the eye. 'I want to be more important than work.' It wasn't quite what she meant, it was so mundane it sounded childish as she spoke, but she stuck to her guns. 'You mean more to me than Aogiri and... And I want to mean m...' 

He stared at her for a moment before his expression softened. 

She shrugged. 

He pulled his arm away. 'I need to go...'

'Ayato...'

'What Hinami?'

She gritted her teeth and pulled her dress down to her waist, then down over her thighs and to the floor. The act itself was flawless but she stood a little awkwardly then, her arms fighting the need to cover her breasts or adjust her pants. Her cheeks were pure scarlet. 'Stay with me.' Her voice had risen at the end, making her command seem like a question. 

'I shouldn't have gotten you that coffee, it was stupid.' He huffed, but he didn't move to leave.

'But you d... Did.' She looked down at her toes. 

He swallowed. 'Alright, Hinami.'

She looked up to find him staring at his own feet, brow furrowed. Without another word he turned and headed back out to the bedroom, undoing his shirt as he walked.

She followed, any earlier confidence now eclipsed by doubt. Firstly, perhaps it was too soon, and they had responsibilities, it was why they were there. Secondly, he didn't seem overly confident about the whole thing as she watched him undress. There was a slight tremor in his fingers, a quake in his breath, and when he looked back at her an unsure quality in his eyes. He dropped his jeans and she was surprised to see the bulge that had moments before been solid and large against her thigh was a lot smaller now.

'Tch.' He walked across and grabbed her by the arms again, pulling her in to a frenzied kiss and towards the bed. She fell backwards with a grunt and shimmied up as he followed to kneel between her legs, his hands roaming the familiar skin of her stomach before experimentally running over her breasts. Their kisses were clumsy as he held himself over her, but soon they were both moulded to each other in a way that was too comfortable, sinking together in to the sheets. 

She could feel him grow hard against her as they moved against each other, and confidence grew in his kisses and touches as well. When she bucked he ground down against her. When he bit at her lip she pulled at his hair. When his fingers finally pushed her pants down she stopped moving altogether and lay still. He slipped them over her ankles and then pulled down his boxers, sighing as the cold air replaced warm cotton. 

She glanced down, then back at his eyes, which were fixed on the most intimate of her areas with great interest. Perhaps this was a mistake, she thought as his finger danced dangerously close to... 'Oh! Ayato!' 

He laughed, stooping to kiss her shoulder as his hand worked between them. 

After a few pecks and one to the chin, he held himself over her and removed his finger. 'This'll hurt.'

She nodded, lifting her head to bury it against his neck. She could hear the thud of his pulse against her ear, and feel the warm shuddered breaths on her own neck. 

It didn't exactly hurt at first. There was a burning dull pain but no great intrusion, just a small discomfort. Then something broke, and he slid too far too fast, spilling a litany of profanities against her hair as her nails dug in to his shoulder blades. Her cries were muffled against his skin as he pulled out and pushed back until he was buried completely.

Why had she stopped him from leaving? He should be across the road kicking the shot out of some self important ghoul, she would be still frustrated but not in pain. When she'd thought about this she'd thought of tender kisses and throaty moans. The books made it seem so sweet, so intimate, but there she was with a plea to stop on the tip of her tongue. 

'I won't be romantic,' his voice echoed over and over in her mind as the bed springs creaked and his body moved in seemingly random patterns, slow but relentless. 

He finally stopped, eyes falling to her face. She blinked, mouth hanging open with a wordless squeak and he laughed, he actually laughed. 

'What were you expecting?' He chuckled, and when she didn't speak he pushed again, kissing her roughly but only for a second. 

She grit her teeth. 'You... Ow!'

He stilled. 

'Don't... Ow!'

'What? I thought you said don't stop?'

She huffed a laugh and another rumbled deep in his chest. 'Don't laugh at me...'

'I'm laughing with you.' 

'It feels weird.'

'Well what should it feel like?' He snapped playfully before clumsily kissing the edge of her lips. 

'Ow! You're too big.' She explained, before bringing a forearm across her face to muffle her laughter. 'I mean... I meant...'

'What, isn't that... exactly what you... meant?' He grinned, taking her hand and moving it above her head so that he could kiss her fully, their fingers stuck in a vice like lock. 

The giggles and jibes subsided, and he held eye contact as she squeezed tightly to his hand, moving her thighs up on his hips as she began to relax. The sincerity in his gaze almost burnt her. They hadn't spoken for what felt like ages when she found herself whispering his name, her lips falling open quite involuntarily. The shock of the sound and the now more pleasurable still slightly painful and more than a bit strange feeling had her cheeks glowing an even brighter pink. He blinked, then stooped and kissed her slowly, his entire weight resting at the point where they joined together. Her knees dug in at his thighs and he smirked against her as he repeated the motion, swallowing her gasps. 

Eventually, his movements had grown strong and sure, and his heavy breaths had turned to little grunts against her mouth or harsh swears. In a pained voice he admitted, 'If we don't stop I'll...'

'Don't stop.' She heard herself half shout as she squeezed his hand tighter above her head and lifted her hips as much as she could. 

He came with a shout of something that could have been her name. Beneath him, she let out a squeak as if someone had dropped cold water on her head. She felt strange, dirty maybe. Mostly embarrassed that she had told him to, and even more that she didn't regret it yet, and was in fact glad he had. Something wet and warm was soothing and heavy between her legs, and it lessened the sting of cold air when he pulled out and rolled on to his back beside her, scowling at the ceiling. Their hands remained locked, his right with her left fixed above them on the pillows. 

'Shit.' He covered his eyes with his free hand. 'We shouldn't have...'

'Yeah...' She breathed through her shaking lips. 

Outside the rain ran in thick beads down the window. Unheard, a quiet ghoul and his loud human wife threw their bags in the car and sped off. Under the blanket the stormy faced young man slept on his side. Beside him the young woman dozed, safe in the scent of his body and the now cold coffee he had brought her hours before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's ooc I know, but I need some sweetness.
> 
> Next time : Eto and Tatara be pissed.


	4. Chapter 4

She's furious, but it's not completely un comical with the bandages and hood flapping around in the wind. 'I thought you were serious about this Ayato. I thought you wanted us to win.'

'Of course I do.' He drawls. 'Did that one ghoul mean so much?'

'He's not the first you've let slip. Maybe we should have had a word with you sooner, taught you where to put it so you weren't so distracted by Hina's big brown eyes, eh?'

He chuckles, and it does nothing to stem the flow of Eto's temper. 'Perhaps you're not a leader, Ayato-kun. Perhaps your'e a pawn like the rest of them. How did you put it? Canon fodder.'She tilts her head and the playfulness returns to her voice. 'Maybe she's more suited to the bottom, huh? She can spend a few months working her way up, like you did?'

He grits his teeth, but when he turns back to her he's shrugging. 'You need her too much, you know that.'

'Well you're making her useless. You know what happens to the lame dogs, Ayato.' She mimics a shotgun blast and throws her head back in a peel of laughter. 'We're too close for you to fuck this up because you're hormonal. And I promise you, she'll suffer for it.'

'Why not me?' He tries to keep his voice level. He fails. 

'You? You wouldn't care would you? You've been through far worse than I could think up for you. She hasn't though, has she?'

'What makes you think I care about her?' He shrugs his shoulders and flicks his hair.

Eto only tilts her head, letting out a low wine as she measures him by eye. 'Half of my job is reading people, Ayato-kun, and compared to when she first got here you're a completely different book.'

'Poetic.' He sighs, running a hand over his neck. 'I didn't think the tree would care...'

'We care if you're letting doves and deserters slip through our nets. Otherwise you can go at it like, well, rabbits. So what do you say? You going to pay more attention, or should I send her for some scrambling?' She swirls her finger around her ear.

He finds himself glaring, fists closed, knuckles white. 'You wouldn't.' 

'I might.' Eto sighed, looking at her hands as if she could see fingernails through the bandages. 

She leaves with a few hurried goodbyes but he doesn't hear them, and when the door closes his breath becomes the only sound. It's infuratingly loud in his own ears. 

* * *

 

Hinami is making coffee when the front door almost blows off it's hinges. She doesn't look around, instead smiling at the unmistakeable breathing, the quick bubump of his heart thundering away in his chest. He never came to her home, her tiny two room apartment with faded flowered wallpaper and scratched pine floor. 

She is about to ask him if he would like a cup when behind her something drips. She spins, eyes wide, arms clutching at the edge of the countertop. 

He's bloody, a fresh cuton his cheek that she had hardly been able to smell. It is running down to curve around his jaw, little trails riding the cream skin down to his collar. She pushed self forward, taking his chin in her fingers and turning his head to the light. 

'Shh... Hinami!' He grumbles. 'Get off.'

'I thought you said we didn't have anything to do today.' She sighs, letting his face drop and looking down at the blood on her palm. 

'You had nothing to do today.' He nods. 'I shouldn't even be here now, so if you could...'

She pushed herself up on her tiptoes, pressing a small kiss to his chin before turning back to the coffee. 'I just don't understand, Ayato. Why you aren't taking me with you anymore? Found a better listner?' She jokes, but when she finds him staring at her with something more akin to concern than humour she stops and turns back to him. 'Ayato-kun?'

He runs a hand through his dark hair, a fire sparking in his eyes. 'We can't do this anymore.'

She doesn't know what to say so, to his horror, she laughs. It's a nervous little thing that she can barely contain, and she's trying as he glares at her. 

'I'm serious. No missions. No... No sex.'

'Oh.' She muffled her giggle as his words sank in. 

'Why are you laughing?' He frowns, but his expression softens ever so slightly. 

She closes her eyes, still muffling laughter even as her stomach sinks. 'I don't know.' She admits, and when she opens them to meet his there are tears. 

'Oi don't cry.' He reaches out, only to snatch his hand back. 'Oi.' 

She laughs, cries, carries on doing a mixture of both and trying not to look at him. 'I can't help it.' She hiccups.

He grumbles, and then she winces as his hands grip hard to her shoulders. 'Look. It's orders from the people upstairs. No more...' He fumbled for a word then let her go. 'This. No more this, you're holding me back.' 

'How?' She sobs.

He sighs and pulls her against his chest. 'Just let it go Hinami. It wasn't anything special anyway.'

She sighs and presses a quiet kiss to his shoulder before pushing him back. 'Well then what are you still doing here? You've said what you have to say.'

'Fine...'

'Good!' She points to the door. 'You can show yourself out.'

He wipes the blood from his now healed cheek and throws up his hood, turning and heading for the door. 'We have a mission on Tuesday, don't foget.' He smirks.

Behind him she looks again at the hastily scrawled note written in blood on the table. 'Just play alon wif it.' She tries not to think about his grammar. 'Eto can hear.' 

She took a dishcloth and wiped it away, frowning as it smeared and streaked. 'Couldn't just write with a pen?' She thought, ringing off the cloth and then forcing a loud sob.

She changed in to a dark dress and tights, something more passable as hunting attire, and zipped up a hoody before bringing the hood over her hair. Throwing open the door she freezes, lip quivering as Eto brushed past her to survey the living room. 

'Hinami-chan, is everything alright?'

'Just... Just fine...'

'I came to see you, and here you are, crying.  Did someone do something?'

'No.' She sniffs. 'Just... Ayato-kun says I... He says I am holding him back.'

'Holding him back? How awful.' Eto purred. 'Are you going to follow him?'

Hinami readies herself to lie, and finds its easier than she expects. 'I'm going hunting.' She all but snarls. 'Im not weak!'

The bandages stretch in to a parody of a smile. 'Good. I'll pop back another time, when you're not busy my dear.'

Hinami sweeps out of her own home, slamming the door and following his scent with no idea whether or not Eto had believed her.

She pictures the last few words, written in the blood from his cheek which he had cut deep enough to keep it flowing. '11th ward safe house.'


	5. Chapter 5

It seemed severe, he thought as he paced back and for in front of the 11th ward 'safe house', a single room apartment with several leaks in the roof and a bed just a bit too small for someone of his height. Not the most romantic of places, he laughed just thinking about it, but it was better than nothing, and nothing was what they were back to.

'Just explain,' she said once she was close enough, pinching the bridge of her nose with two delicate fingers. 'Why you didn't write it in pen.'

'I didn't have a pen?' He arched a brow as if it were the most obvious think in the world.

'Whats going on?'

He jerked his head towards the door and she pushed in front of him, pushing the door with a force meant to translate her irritation but only succeeded in making her seem more childlike. 

In the dim light of the single buzzing lightbulb Hinami was made of shadows. They gathered around her tired eyes, drew sharp lines down her neck, then trailed from her collarbone down to the slope of breasts beneath her white button down. 'You are thought it would be easier to pretend it's over than admit it's not and just pay more attention.'

'I don't like being threatened, Hinami.'

'What?'

'And you are by far the weakest thing about me.'

She froze. 'Ayato... Kun...'

'And I'd rather not have that weakness on display, is that okay?' He turned away to the small window cloaked in dirty white curtains and pulled one enough to the side that he could look over the empty dull grey alleyway. 'It's just easier if we call it. Let Eto think...'

'Why just let her think?' Hinami sighed, tightening her grip on the back of one of the two wooden chairs. 

He turned with a slightly amused grin on his pale face. 'Did I offend you, Hina?'

'You're being stupid. Do you think Eto won't find out? Or that she'd do anything to harm me when she spent so much time training me? I'm more important than you and you know it.' If there was blood in her face it all drained at her last few words. More surprising though was his expression. He looked winded, as if she'd kneed him in the crotch instead of said something. 

His expression shifted from wounded to angry, then back to resignation, something so foreign to Ayato's face that she felt her knees tremble. 'I know.' His hand came up to grasp her wrist, and though the grip was firm she knew she could pull away. 'I'm not strong th way you're strong. I'm good at hurting people.'

'I can hurt people.' She forced a pout, and to her relief he flashed his teeth in a smile. 'You said I'm good at it.'

'I have to say that.' He let his forehead rest against hers. 

'I can stand up for myself so don't worry about me.' She kissed at the corner of his mouth.

He pulled his head back, eyes closed. 'Look... It bothers me that she went there. That she made the threat in the first place.' he let her wrist go and turned towards the window again. 'Like I'm so easy to touch now.'

'Oh Ayato.' She remembered how he'd acted to his own sister before, how even now he only nudged and helped from the shadows. She doubted anyone else knew he still watched her, and he'd made a good enough show of violence to cover any slip ups. 

'We won't be able to see eachother for a while.'

She pouted again, but this time it wasn't forced. 

'You're being...' She floundered.

He pulled her hard against him, and she thought to push him off but the intensity in his eyes Kept her placid. 'I'm serious. I'm not... I need to sort this out?'

She wanted to protest some more, or maybe even go to Eto herself, tell her she couldn't touch Ayato. Oh he'd just love that. Wether it was his pride or some twisted idea of protection, he was fixated on it now, and nothing she could say would change his mind. 

'I'm probably not going to be very nice to you.' He added, grinning childishly. 'In fact I shall be very very shitty.'

'Ayato...' She pushed herself up on to the tips of her toes and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. 

His hand pressed against the small of her back, forcing her closer until her hips were held firmly against his. Her hands fisted in his shirt, fingers sliding under to run over the warmth of his skin. They weren't kissing the way they usually did. At the back of her mind Hinami thought that this was the sort of kissing they raved about in all the books. It was painfully slow, and so soft there was a heat spreading from her lips outwards, warming her from the tips of her ears down. Every movement made her press herself closer, and when she did his hand pressed her tighter to him. 

She pulled the collar of his shirt down, popping one button until she could push it off of his shoulder. He turned them, half hoisting her up against the windowsill where she balanced between the short plastic ledge and his body. His lips drifted down her jaw, and around to kiss softly just beneath her ear while his hands worked on removing her tights. 

'Exactly like the books.' Hinami thoughs as his lips returned to hers while he slid the tight black material down past her knees. Well, he was. The dark brooding hero pressing sweet kisses to her neck was spot on. The setting though left much to be desired, but somehow in the grungy little apartment he seemed grander, full of a fire that far eclipsed the 60 watt bulb.  When his fingers hooked under her panties she gasped against his lips, and her voice sounded foreign to her own ears, too husky and needy. Her cheeks burnt. 

With her skirt bundled at her hips his hands ran down her thighs, far too big, too warm against her already burning skin. Her hand caught his before he could touch her and he watched as she pushed it away, putting her own to work at his fly. She pulled him closer by the waistband of his pants and kissed at his jaw as she stroked him, unable to stop her grin spreading when he groaned in her ear. He grew harder in her hand, and the harder he was the shorter his breaths, but the harder his grip on her thighs grew until she shifted herself towards him and kissed him again, humming in to his mouth as he pressed his length against her. Without a word he filled her, his lips rough against hers. 

She buried her head against his shoulder and he pulled her knees higher up his hips. She realised when his hand snaked down to stroke against her and her head fell backwards with a thud, that the curtains were no longer hiding them, and if anyone were standing in the alleyway below they could see them there, and it probably wouldn't look very much like it did in the great romantic books and films. They were both too sweaty, too red, and there were too many clothes still on. She felt the warmth shoot through her as he shouted her name, quickening the rhythm of his fingers. For a few seconds they were both erratic, moving against eachother in rough, desperate moments. She came with her lips clamped against his clavicle, the cry muffled in to the muscles of his shoulder and chest. 

They parted in the alleyway, her eyes watching him a little longer than he watched her as he disappeared around the corner and headed to his own home. Just like the books really, some convoluted 'we can't be together' bullshit in the second act. Actually this was probably the fourth or fifth act. Whatever act it was, there was angst, needless angst too. A sudden thought burnt hot in her brain, causing her to stop walking. 

Being in Aogiri might not be worth it anyway.


End file.
